Monday, February 29, 2016

The choice to write romance.

Usually, when I tell people I write romance I get an eye roll or a smirk then, 'oh, I bet it's so much fun to write that stuff.'

Well, writing is fun. Period. 

But writing romance isn't easy. And it takes a lot of reflection on your part as an author to identify the reasons why your characters are doing the horizontal mambo, aside from the obvious.

My books are real life with a twist of suspense. My characters fall in love, they screw up, they aren't perfect, and they love deeply. Passionately.

But as my characters are falling in love I try to write my love scenes as pivotal moments in a person's life, something integral to their story, strengthens it, heals it, drives it forward because that's what sex is...pivotal and powerful as well as healing.

Most people I know look for validation and to be loved, and if they're telling you they aren't well, I'd turn and run. It's part of our human nature to feel loved, wanted, needed ....that you let's take the taboo off sex and accept it for what it is... powerful and healing. 

And if you're writing romance with a twist of suspense, of course, you're characters are going to stop and shag! It's human nature. One they need to do something with all that pumping, swirling adrenaline and two they're seeking comfort, connection, healing in the midst of things they don't understand or are overwhelmed by.

"Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." Oscar Wilde

"Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place. The greatest pleasure isn't sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim." Paulo Coelho

"Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy on life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. They will always be attracted to the person who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the person whose surrender permits them to experience, or fake, a sense of self-esteem. Love is our response to our highest values and can be nothing else." Ayn Rand

"A gentleman holds my hand.
 A man pulls my hair.
 A soulmate does both"
        Alessandra Torre

"It was never just sex. It was about connection. It was about looking at another human being and seeing your own loneliness and neediness reflected back. It was recognisinig that together you had the power to temporarily banish that sense of isolation. It was about experiencing what it was to be human the basest, most instinctive level. How could that be described as just anything?" Emily Maguire, Taming the Beast.

Hmm...kinda like life.

And isn't that what we're all looking for in a relationship...a connection.


  1. What a great post, Sheila! This is what great Romance books are about. And absolutely: "sex is...pivotal and powerful as well as healing." Yes! And in any genre, that sex scene solidifies so much with the characters (as they're taking a well-deserved pause from the plot!). And yep, we're looking for that connection.
    Nice post!

  2. Thank you Susan. I'm all about the connection and portraying that connection as powerful and healing. Thanks again for stopping by! It's always great to see you!