The choice to step outside yourself

When life gets heavy and the weight on your shoulders crushes your joy or motivation it may be time to step outside your problems and assist someone with theirs.  Helping others when things in your life are troubling brings a broader perspective to your troubles and perhaps a smile to someone's face who didn't feel the desire to do so earlier. Everyone has struggles they are facing and sometimes when you embrace someone else's struggle yours aren't so overwhelming. Stepping outside yourself not only invigorates you, lifts your spirit but also the person who's hand you chose to grasp.

I follow Armand Rosamilia on Twitter and through his Twitter and Facebook accounts I've learned about his creative mission to support our service men and women, Authors Supporting Our Military Troops. Armand collects donations of indie authors' paperback books (no e-readers please) and spreads the love throughout the troops. Having family currently serving and family members who have served I thought this would be a wonderful way to show gratitude to the men and women who so graciously and courageously sacrifice their time, expertise and sometimes surrender their lives for our freedom. If my books can provide a moment of escape or a thoughtful exploration of life then the smile is on my face, my storytelling successful. A thumbs up, a great review, a smile on someone's face or an email expressing a shift in someone's paradigms is as rewarding to me as teaching my little five-year-olds how to read. My goal is to get the books out by Wednesday before the holiday rush!

Armand describes his mission best, so I'm pasting the link. Please if you have a minute, and you're an author, whether it be traditional or self-published please click the link and read about Armand's mission. If you're an aspiring writer, maybe this may give you an extra boost of motivation and inspiration to finish that last chapter or maybe start that ambitious endeavor of writing; you know that little whisper in your head that turns into the roar you're always ignoring. Maybe now is your time. You never know who your writing can help. So get your write on! And then send it to Armand!

Armand Rosamilia's Authors Supporting Our Military Troops

http://armandrosamilia.com/2014/10/07/authors-supporting-our-troops-2015-asot2015/

You won't be sorry.

Choosing to stay postive over the weekend!

This blog post is a little difficult to write considering the insanity that occurred over the weekend in Paris, but my family and I are choosing to remain positive. Our hearts and prayers go out to the people and families in Paris as we celebrated the good news that my niece was safe and sound in London, and I had my very first book signing! Even though we celebrated two beautiful rays of sunshine, we were very aware and mindful of the tragedy, injustice, and inhumanity that swept the world. Good will always prevail, and our prayers are high!

We chose to embrace the positive and in so doing I would love to share the details of the book signing.

My husband and I traveled a little over an hour to get to Harleysville. Lovely drive on a bright, crisp, November afternoon. Stephanie Steinly did a wonderful job organizing and hosting the event, and I couldn't be more grateful! Stef made the event relaxed, fun and informative. Hopefully, I'll be invited back, and I can take a ton more pictures with Stef! I'm sorry about that! My friends and family attended as well as other people who stopped by thanks to Stef getting the word out! My heart was, and still is, full of love, gratitude, and appreciation to everyone who came out to support me as well as the friends and family who couldn't attend Saturday but were there in spirit! Michael, you were just the sweetest stopping by after work! It was lovely to meet you!



My nerves hummed with uncertainty as anticipation of the unknown rolled through my veins, but the excitement was immense as I set up shop in Stef's bookstore with a beautifully draped fall themed table just for me! Thank you, Stef! I had books, reviews, posters and, of course, my cookies! I'm going to try a little harder with the raffle prize for the next signing! Maybe if the next signing is a little closer to home, it might work out better. I haven't given up hope for donating to Delaware Valley's Children's Charity! If anyone knows about any independent bookstores in suburban Philadelphia that I missed, please leave me a post!

I had the lovely opportunity to meet fellow author George DeFrehn who wrote Is Anybody There? Memoir of a "functional alcoholic" George was a wealth of information both professionally and personally. What an extraordinary man! If you're looking for inspiration and education, pick up George's book! I certainly hope our paths cross again. Supremely delightful!

My expectations for excitement and nervousness were gigantic but the information I acquired speaking to both George and Stef? Priceless! Both personable, intelligent and knowledgeable about writing, self-publishing and marketing, Stef and George were a gift above rubies! I honestly felt like a little kid on Christmas morning receiving all my favorite presents!

I can't express enough gratitude for the new readers I had the opportunity to meet thanks to Stef! Thank you so much to everyone who attended the book signing on a chilly Saturday in November with the world raging. I hope that a little book talk and some cookies were able to distract you from the devastation across the ocean. The gratitude I have for the opportunity to visit Stef's bookstore is deep and the gratitude I hold for the new people I met is something I'll cherish always. I look forward to the next one, and hopefully there will be more to come with your continued support as my readership grows and news about my books grows as well. I have you to thank for that!

God bless!

 

Here it is! My dream come true!

Thank you for being a part of it!

 

 

Martha! My love for you is deep!

 

George! A true inspiration! Can't wait to meet him again!

 

My mom who taught me the lesson and value of hard work!

 

My sister who would travel just about anywhere to support me!

 

My husband who's support made my dream come true! I couldn't have asked for a truer, kinder friend! I love you!

 

Kathy who told me never to quit! I'm just as proud of her as she is of me! Mwah! I love her!



The choice to cultivate gratitude when life isn't rainbows and butterflies

Gratitude is easy when you ace your term paper, meet your deadline and everyone in the house is healthy and happy. It's easy to be thankful when the sun is shining, and life is rainbows and butterflies. But what do you do when it isn't? What do you do when the gray clouds threaten, and the storm hits? Are you grateful for the rain and tell yourself we wouldn't be able to survive without it? Do you decide to splash in the puddles? Or hide under the covers?

Life's challenges are lessons in the silver lining of those gray clouds. How boring would life be if every day beamed bursting sunshine and beguiling blue skies? What strength of character would develop? One that believes life is good only when the sky is blue.

I learn my best lessons during the worst storms. It's during the storm when your muscles are straining; your brain is screaming, and all you want to do is stay under the covers when you need to dig deep and cultivate gratitude. Capture the gray cloud, sift through it and uncover the gratitude of the struggle to reach the silver lining. Be thankful for the fight. It's the struggle that made you who and what you are. Never giving up during the fierce storm, being thankful for the painful lessons and pushing through the darkness of the cloud to grab that silver lining makes life beautiful even when the cocoons yield moths instead of butterflies and the sky is a stingy, stubborn two-year-old refusing to share its beautiful brilliance.

Tell me when your struggle was the hardest. How did you stay grateful?

The CHOICE to VOTE!

Happy Monday Everyone! I hope if you celebrated Halloween you had a blast! I know I did! Delighting in the newest family member, my niece's first baby girl, who was the sweetest baby chick I ever did see was a little slice of heaven!



Now...onto a new week!

To start my week CHOICES is featured in Masquerade Crew's November's Cover Wars which will run until the end of December! I'm honored and tickled pink CHOICES is a contestant with many other beautiful covers! LOTS of covers, 113 to be exact, to choose from! So please spread the word and vote for CHOICES!

Thank you for your support! I am grateful for each and every review for Choices and Forgiveness as well as each and every vote for CHOICES if you choose to vote!

I would not be where I am today without the love and support of my family and friends and the people I've met through my self-publishing journey. There have been bumps in the road, hurdles to clear, mistakes and times I've wanted to quit. But the sweetest victory is the amazing group of readers, authors and bloggers I've met who inspire and propel me forward.

THANK YOU!

If you'd like to vote, here's the link http://www.masqueradecrew.com/2015/11/cover-wars-november-december-2015-vote.html



The choice to commit to yourself

 

 

  Women are committed to their jobs, their significant other, family, friends, and for the mommies out there, their kids. Doesn't leave much time for yourself, now does it? Would you let your friend cheat on her diet, or your husband go for that big interview without some tender loving cheerleading and soul building? Hell no! But when it comes to motivating yourself to chase after that longed for dream - you fall short of the finish line. Why? Because everyone else's problems, situations, events are more important than yours. I'm confident most woman, mothers especially, can relate. I can see you nodding your head. Don't be shy.

     In reality, you're selling your family short because you haven't committed to yourself first. You need to be your own cheerleading, your soul builder so you can be the rock your family needs. How do you go about committing to yourself?

     1. Value. How's your self-worth? Where does your self-worth fall in a relationship? Do you appreciate yourself for who you are or how you think you should be in a relationship? In other words, are you honoring yourself or worrying about what others think about you in a committed relationship whether it be romantic or platonic. 

    2. Holding back. Are you your own worst critic? Sheesh, I know I am. And when I make a mistake I'm ready to whip out the sledgehammer and go to town. Would you do that to a friend, your husband, your child? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no. But when you make a mistake you're ready to withhold the self-forgiveness and focus on all the wrong instead of the lesson that fell into your lap. Now's your chance to stop doing that. Awareness is the first step in any recovery program. Take this step to admit that you are just as important as the people you care for.

    3. Recovery. Welcome! You are now a recovering people pleaser! As women, we've been taught to take care of others first. Pretty soon, others grow and the well-spring is dry. Take back your time. Even if it's a simple walk by yourself, without the dog or the stroller. Once your well-spring is full others can drink. You'll have more to give if you drink from your own well-spring first. Goes against the grain, I know, but totes true!

   4. Choices. Ah, my favorite. There are always choices but are they good ones. Are they working for you? You can choose to put others first but how did that work out for you? Did you end up blaming yourself if your advice to them didn't work out? You get one shot at this life, one body, one soul use it wisely. No one else will do that for you except...you.

Take care of yourself and let me know how you did!



The choice to forgive

Today's blog post is in honor of my second book in the Choices Series, Forgiveness, which will be available very shortly in paperback.

      Forgiveness, whether it's extended to yourself or someone you know, is a conscious, cultivatable choice. Similar to choosing to be happy even when you're kid backs their car into your new car in the driveway. Say, what? You gotta dig deep some days, and some days even deeper. Forgiving either yourself or the person who done did you wrong follows the same principal. I compare holding onto all the negativity surrounding a painful situation or wrongdoing to living in a windowless, dark, concrete cell. It's manageable, but will your body and psyche emerge intact and healthy? What type of person will you become?

     The neat thing about Forgiveness is the health benefits. The cost you ask? Commitment and stamina. It's not easy to forgive, and the commitment involved is challenging. Some wrongdoings are harder to recover from than others. I'm not making light of the fact how difficult forgiveness can be when the injury is severe. I'm only saying that the health benefits are worth the pain and sometimes agony of commitment. Forgiving someone or even yourself unconditionally increases your life span. Committing to choosing forgiveness reduces tension, anger, depression, fatigue, blood pressure and overall stress. Sounds good to me! Sign me up!



The choice to keep on keeping on!

 

 

 

   

 

       Eighth-grade graduation was the highlight of my elementary school career. On the verge of young adulthood, getting ready to enter high school, I received my first prestigious award, perseverance. I wasn't sure exactly what perseverance meant at thirteen until the bumps in life taught me how to cultivate it. Good old Webster's defines it as continuing in spite of difficulty.

      My first major test in perseverance occurred at the age of twenty-five and being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I had to resign from my first teaching job. I wanted to hide under the covers and never leave my bed. The debilitating pain in the early days owned me. My pain managed my day and ruled my hours. Until I finally woke up and said no more. There is beauty in the pain of chronic illness. Pain teaches you never to give up, to persevere. Therein lies the beauty, the lesson.

       I chose to commit myself to persevere. Enduring and fighting through the adversity made me who I am today. I researched, investigated and experimented with doctors, remedies and supplements. During the early nineties having a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, commonly referred to as a "woman's disease of anxiety and depression", left me confused and angry. I wasn't anxious. I wasn't depressed. Traditional medicine only offered an antidepressant and more symptoms. Lacking quality care forced me to persevere until I found a doctor who could help. Three years later I found a naturopathic physician in Connecticut who saved my life. I returned to the classroom, furthered my education and raised a family. My life experiences honed my perseverance, and I chose to commit to the lessons each experience offered.

      Writing in this later stage of my life further sharpens my perseverance. Because I choose to persevere and learn from my mistakes, each book I write allows me to grow as a writer. Each day I sit in front of my computer and a storyline makes me scream or dialogue dries up like a desert, I persevere. Every time I attempt to write and characters seem thin or plotlines daunting, I persevere.

My difficulties in writing remind me of the stubborn doctors I visited. Doctors that made me work harder to find the right one. The same way I work harder through difficult stretches in writing to dig for the most creative situations or illustrious words.

      Self-doubt as a writer also triggers my need to hide under the bed covers again. I have two choices. I can embrace it and stay there, or I can power through the cruel sister of confidence. I choose to believe in myself and defeat the ugly beast of insecurity by sitting in my girl cave pounding on my keyboard the stories that hijack my brain. I choose to persevere in my hope that one day more people will find them as interesting as I do.

      Your difficulties are your triumphs if you accept the challenge of pushing through the mud. I hope you join me to commit to keep on keeping on in whatever you do in life. We can share our perseverance journeys! I'd love to hear yours!