I could hear my youngest’s voice
in my ear. The angst in the tone of his voice
reverberated
throughout my entire being summoning my own mommy-angst. He was
whining about the difficulty of making a choice. He didn’t
want to do it. Most people
don’t.
At his age, the
hard choices weren’t quite so awful. But for grown-ups, it was even harder. Most
people didn’t want to make the painful choices. Those choices that could shred
your heart and leave gaping wounds in your soul─even if it was to protect
another’s soul. What child could understand the concept of making that type of
choice. I wondered if even adults could fully grasp the magnitude and
repercussions of the choices they made within their own lives.
People want to
slather on avoidance and denial like sunscreen. They want to deflect the truth
from their skin like UV rays. They want to prevent the truth from being absorbed
into their pores where it could travel to their hearts and minds forcing them
to make choices they don’t want to make.
My sweet, little
boy couldn’t understand why he couldn’t have all the flavors of ice cream
listed. He wanted to know why he had to choose just one flavor.
Why, indeed.
I explained to him
he needed to pick the one he just couldn’t live without, the one flavor he
dreamed about constantly, the one that changed his entire day for the better.
Then I watched the peace enter his eyes and travel to his mouth causing his
lips to spread wide into his megawatt smile, and I knew he had made his choice.
I only wished my choices were so easy to make. I wished mine were so peaceful.
