About a month ago I went to the doctor and came home in tears. We reviewed my blood work and well, let's just say it wasn't good. Distraught, angry at myself and overwhelmed I reached out to a friend. Usually, I hate asking for help. It grates on me. I think as a mom, a wife and a teacher I put pressure on myself to have all the answers. I like to be independent and I thoroughly enjoy being the one people come to for help. Except on Tuesday, July 18th I needed help.
I called a good friend I met last year. Her stamina and determination inspired me when she told me how she trained herself to be a runner. I texted Jess. My tears of frustration prevented me from calling. She immediately texted me back with articles about running, high protein snacks, how drinking more water boosts your metabolism and the C25K app. Jess offered to be my running guru and coach. She explained how I needed to be accountable for myself again. And that's when it hit me. I had lost my way. In taking care of everyone else's needs I put mine on the back burner. I knew exactly what I needed to do- I just wasn't doing it for myself. I decided right then and there to make my changes, but more importantly to commit.
As our furious texting calmed down I had time to process.
In 2013 I self-published my first book while I was teaching and raising a family. In 2015 I self-published my second book. And I spread myself super thin. I did take a year in 2016 but that was to help my oldest daughter get situated with her homeschooling and college life. Now, It was time to talk to my husband, seriously talk to my husband. I was experiencing high burn out teaching and frustration with my current administration who were more concerned about making a buck than inspiring and teaching children in the impoverished, urban setting where I worked. So for the second time, I choose to walk away from teaching. I miss the women and men I worked with. They are truly some of the most amazing, inspiring, devoted, dedicated people I ever met. And they were the reason I chose to go back the beginning of 2016's school year, but when my new contract popped up in my email, I cried. I cried so hard I barely managed to get the words out to my husband. God bless his soul he simply said, "Come home. We'll talk about it. We'll figure it out. Just come home." Teaching, which I loved with all my heart, took a toll on my health and my family.
This is where my choice begins. I am setting an intention and manifesting my dream. I am aware I am able to do this with the mega support and love of my husband and family, along with the relationship I have cultivated with the Lord through prayer and service, but I also need to acknowledge myself for taking a risk, for listening to my intuition and trusting in the Lord that I am on the right path even if it is going to be a difficult one. I am sending it out to the universe that this is what I want - I want to write. I want to write so well it supports my family. I want to help others in the process as I sort my own process. As I shape my body, whittle away the weight weighing me down, I will shape myself as a writer as I claim my dream. This will be the hardest work I've ever done. And I am so grateful for the people I've met along the way and look forward to meeting more as I grow as a writer and a runner. This is my choice. I'm terrified. I'm excited.
And so it begins...
My friend Jess suggested I hold myself accountable through social media. Maybe if I posted it online I'll generate some support, suggestions or maybe my story might actually help someone else-another huge part of my dream. So here goes. I will be posting small, little blurbs about my running, writing and what I ate for the day. If you would like to comment on anything, telling me I'm slacking, or I ate the wrong thing, or my running shoes are wrong, or you just want to remind me to not quit, please, please tell me! Positive or negative! I welcome all feedback!
I'm actually a month into it. Here it is from the beginning.
Day 1 Wednesday, July 19, 2017
B: Yogurt, granola, mango, coffee with coconut oil. This is great! I found out about adding coconut oil to my coffee a year ago on Pinterest. I mix it in my NutriBullet.
L: Tuna with guacamole
D: Grilled chicken and asparagus
Today was the first day on the C25K app. I sucked! My head hurts. Not drinking enough water. Guru Jess says 100 oz a day!
Day 2 Thursday, July 20, 2017
B: 1 Blueberry Pancake, coffee
L: Tuna, black beans, chick peas, avocado
D: Grilled steak and salad with feta
The headache is really bad. My thighs and my sides are so achy, but shit, I did something! The headache sucks and makes my brain put the brakes on motivation as a self-preservation technique I need to ignore. I get it, but I can't let it rule me. The same way I can't let Fibromyalgia rule me too. Not drinking enough water!!
Day 3 Friday, July 21, 2017
B: Oatmeal, yogurt, peanut butter and blueberries, coffee
L: Tuna avocado, black beans, and chick peas
D: Chicken Asian Salad
Still not drinking enough water. Have to get on the ball with this!
Day 4 Saturday, July 22, 2017
B: 2 over easy eggs, whole grain seeded bread (really dark my favorite)
L: Cucumbers and hummus
D: Chicken and asparagus
Had to rest today. Shins and thighs really sore and Guru Jess told me not to push. LOL, I'm okay with that! Getting about 120 oz of water!
Day 5 Sunday, July 23, 2017
B: Yogurt, coffee
L: Skipped lunch getting ready for MIL's B-day party
D: Salmon and squash bake
UGH!! My favorite COSTCO birthday cake! Guru Jess said one little piece and begin thinking about a cheat day. Still super sore. Guru Jess says don't push.
Day 6 Monday, July 24, 2017
B: Yogurt with blueberries and coffee
L: Zucchini/Squash bake
D: Steak salad
Working on finishing my edits for my third book Acceptance and had a fantastic meeting with my pastor at my church, Eric. I explained to him all the great things the Lord is doing in my life right now! We prayed and something definitely shifted.
Day 7 Tuesday, July 25, 2017
B: Oatmeal, yogurt, peanut butter and blueberries.
L: Zucchini/Squash bake
D: Chicken and broccoli saute
Guru Jess says I need to drink at least 45 oz of water before I run and I am and my headache is non-existent. Running up to 60 seconds straight now! WOOHOO!! Damn, it's hard. More blood work tomorrow. I applied to work at Costco part time. It's official. I'm calling myself a writer!
Day 8 Wednesday, July 26, 2017
B: 2 over easy eggs, with avocado and toast
L: Chicken Ceasar Salad and a piece of watermelon
D: Got a little overwhelmed and had the same thing as lunch
Had my blood drawn and the technician who came to my house to do it said I STILL wasn't drinking enough water because I was an extremely hard stick! I need 200 oz of water, based on weight and the increase in exercise. UGH!
Day 9 Thursday, July 27, 2017
B: Yogurt, oatmeal, blueberry coffee
L: Chicken salad
D: Steak and salad
Getting closer to finishing edits on Acceptance and getting ready to hand it off the wonderful proofreader I found, Emerald!! My shins are screaming. My achy thighs adjusted quickly and my headache situation is resolved, but oh, my shins! C25K is up to 90 seconds of running and I'll admit I'm struggling! Sheesh!
Day 10 Friday, July 28, 2017
B: 2 scrambled eggs
L: Bean salad, hummus, and cucumbers
D: It's Friday I had one big girl drink at dinner with my sexy other half paired with a bowl of French Onion Soup and Ceaser salad with grilled shrimp.
Worked super hard on editing Acceptance and fixing some things that just irritated the piss out of me! Getting my 200 oz in!! Whoop! Whoop! Setting the goal to rework and revamp my first book Choices since I have learned so much from 2013 up to now!
Day 11 Saturday, July 29, 2017
BEST RUNNING DAY YET!! So flipping proud of myself! Oh, it was glorious!
I feel so positive, so energized and so supported. I don't want this feeling to ever end!
B: 2 scrambled eggs, toast, avocado, and coffee the start of my 200 oz drinking goal
L: Chicken salad
D: Chinese chicken salad
Worked super super hard on edits on Chp 17. Have to meet my deadline for Emerald!
Day 12 Sunday, July 30, 2017
BEACH DAY! No run! Nowhere near ready to do my pathetic walk/run. I would scare people!
B: Scrambled eggs coffee
L: Kale/Quinoa Salad
D: 1/2 pb&j I know I know don't judge I was super tired after driving home from the shore
Day 13 Monday, July 31, 2017
B: 2 scrambled eggs, coffee
L: 1/2 pb&j I know I got a taste for it and well, shit what can I say I'm weak!
D: Salmon and bean salad
Worked on Acceptance, thinking about Choices. Guru Jess wants me to run a 5K. OHHHH!!! SOOOO not ready for that!
Day 14 Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Holy shit! It's August! Seriously??
B: Eggs with broccoli, cheese and two spears of pineapple
L: Tuna with avocado
D: I skipped not hungry
Let's get Acceptance done, girl!!
Day 15 Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Getting at least 150 oz of water in! YAY! The headache is gone now!
B: Oatmeal, yogurt, blueberries, coffee
L: Soup
D: Chinese Chicken Salad
Not a good running day. I just can't believe how badly my shins hurt. My SIL suggested a running store where they observe your gait and help you pick the right shoes. Definitely on my to do list. On a positive note, I handed Acceptance over to Emerald. Super excited for that. She's enjoying it so far! Getting a little discouraged with the app. Can't make or break the 90 seconds.
Day 16 Thursday, August 3, 2017
B: Yogurt parfait. A little more than what I normally eat. It was for my husband but he left it in the fridge so I ate it! Hey, he's gonna be gone for a few days!
L: Chinese chicken salad. I'm really digging this!
D: Skipped not hungry
Have to rest today. Super sore shins. Began my rereads and rewrites for Choices!
Day 17 Friday, August 4, 2017
Okay, so Friday is my cheat day! Don't judge!
B: 2 scrambled eggs
L: Chinese Chicken Salad
D: 2 Hot dogs with LOTS and LOTS of sauerkraut! LOVE sauerkraut. My mouth is watering just typing this!
And three glasses of wine! Hey, we celebrated. It was the first time we were alone in our own home since well, shit I can't even remember! Rewrites going well, but the running is getting harder. I have to talk to Guru Jess and I'm trying not to cry and quit!
Day 18 Saturday, August 5, 2017
Running but not meeting the 90 sec mark. And each day now the app gets harder. I talked to Guru Jess and she suggests I either start over or just time myself to run for 90 sec. Oh, and I HATE blisters! With a passion!
B: Oatmeal, yogurt, blueberries
L: Hummus and cucumbers
D: Chicken and salad
No added sugar for 18 days now!
Day 19 Sunday, August 6, 2017
B: 2 scrambled eggs and toast coffee
L: Skipped I know I know
D: 2 slices of veggie pizza
Running is tougher and tougher. The app is up to 3 min walk 3 min run. I really think I need to start over and not beat myself up.
Day 20 Monday, August 7, 2017
B: Oatmeal, yogurt and blueberries, coffee
L: Egg salad with cucumber
D: Chinese Chicken Salad
Ready to run but it's pouring. Consider it, but change my mind and sit down at the computer. Lots of rewrites today and things are going well! I have a zillion marketing questions and I need to get in touch with my local Indie Author Guru, that's Guru Stacy! I signed up for a free manifesting course with Kayla and Traci through Modern Soul Society. Oh, such great stuff! I'm stoked!!
Day 21 Tuesday, August 8, 2017
B: 2 cups of coffee Found the Ketogenic diet giving some of it a try
L: 1/2 cup of soup 1/2 a salad
D: Garden Burger Salad
Met with my self-publishing master, Guru Stacy! She is fricking amazing with over thirty self-published titles. Gosh, she got such great advice, but my head swims and I tell myself I'll get there! I'll get there!! I have re-started the app. BOOOO!!!! But hey it is what it is!
Day 22 Wednesday, August 9, 2017
B:2 cups of coffee
L: 3 scrambled eggs and avocado
D: Salmon and asparagus
Pissed. Didn't run. Frustrated with me.
Day 23 Thursday, August 10, 2017
B: 2 Cups of coffee
L: 3 scrambled eggs and avocado
D: Chicken stir fry
Working on rewrites and feeling lots of energy from my new outlook. But still, not making as much progress running.
Day 24 Friday, August 11, 2017
B: 2 Cups of coffee
L: Steak salad
D: Veggie Burger
Rewrites, rewrites, rewrites, running, running, running and feeling like I'm getting nowhere with my running. Trying not to get discouraged!
Day 25 Saturday, August 12, 2017
B: 2 cups of coffee
L: Tuna with avocado and black beans and coconut oil
D: Salmon and asparagus
Had to work a bit on my newest book, Eye of Horus. Can't wait to really dive into this one! I gotta work when the characters talk to me! No run. Kinda mad at myself
Day 26 Sunday, August 13, 2017
B: Oatmeal and 2 cups of coffee
L: Hummus, red pepper and cucumber
D: pork, asparagus, and yes, I had a bit of pasta salad and damn did my stomach freak the flip out!
No run today either, but flying through rewrites and looking for a part time job.
Day 27 Monday, August 14, 2017
B: 2 cups of coffee with coconut oil
L: 3 scrambled eggs
D: Chicken stir fry
Working hard on my rewrites and mustering up the courage to type all this up!!
Well, this is it so far! Thanks for reading till the end. Don't forget to share your story or just pop in and say hi!
Thanks for the love!
XO
Blissy
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